Moving Forward ...

I don't even want to look at how long it's been since I added to this blog. Guilty as charged. Life always seems to be in the way. I look at the Facebook posts and tweets of all the authors I know as they pump out book after book. Many have the luxury of writing full time. If only. Well, maybe ...

For 30+ years I've been dealing with the kinds of tragedies we commonly see in the firefighting and EMS world. I've had several of my own and learned about PTSD the hard way. I've spent a chunk of my career helping others work through their critical incidents. That was good. But, there comes a time when you just feel done. A friend of mine suggested I'm suffering from "compassion fatigue". He may be right.

On June 11th I was in attendance with 10 others when a long time firefighter friend died. I didn't think I would be able to do it, but he didn't want to be alone. So, I was there. The next day, 16 of our firefighters lost their jobs because of a failure of a parcel tax. I lost a major chunk of income. This came in the middle of selling my house. Does that suck? Yes and no.

Another friend told me on the phone last night how I should apply for this full time EMS Coordinator position in a nearby county. Fact is, I DON'T WANT TO. I gave up full time work to be a consultant a few years ago so I didn't have to follow the beat of another person's drum. It's worked well ... up until now. Apathetic voters changed that.

As the Chinese say though,"opportunity comes from chaos". The good news is, I'm getting rid of a financial albatross, rethinking the consulting and teaching contracts I have, and am considering a pretty radical lifestyle change. I've been picking up a lot of non fiction writing work lately. It's a lot more enjoyable way to keep the lights on.

I'm considering that all this chaos is leading to the opportunity to finally become a full time writer.

At the beginning of the year I promised myself (and many aggressive writer friends) that I would finally quit editing my novel and just get it out there. I have a number of other books in my head, fiction and non-fiction. They're screaming for me to give them life. Who am I to ignore that? If the writing can pay the bills, I can also spend more time on my developing career in video production, and professional photography. That's where I really want to be ... serving the EMS profession, but in a unique, creative way.

Next month I'm carpooling with a few writer friends to Southern California for a writer's conference. I haven't done one of those in 20 years. Fortunately, this was paid for before the financial gauntlet came down. Who knows, maybe I can meet just the right people ... Well hell, I know it will be a good time, and I'll get a bunch of free books! So, off I go.

I hope the few of you that follow this blog will actually see this, LOL. But, that's another goal ... to post content here much more often!

Here's a picture of me and my handsome friends, Dean and Kalani - two excellent firefighter-EMTs looking for a job. This photo has a kind of "Men in Black" feel to it, doesn't it? Hmm, maybe there's a story there. I'm going to miss them.

Let me know what you think ...

Catching Up and Slowing Down ...

Okay, I've been very very bad about this blog.

The excuse .... that life got in the way .... well, yeah.

I've been trying to make a living the past few years as a consultant, but it's been far more time consuming that I realized. Recently, things have changed. I renewed one QI contract but the hours have been cut. The other fire department just lost a vote on a parcel tax, so my work there will be cut way back or eliminated completely. I've taught at the community college for about 15 years (more like 25 if you include my previous life in Southern California). That has become stressful and cumbersome for a number of reasons and every thread of common sense says it's time to go.

So, what does that leave then?? Writing! I've been watching my writer friends pump out book after book and wish I'd had the time to do that. I've been doing a lot of non fiction work, which has helped keep the lights on, but there's more out there. I just haven't had time. Now, potentially, I will. I've been doing online classes through RWA and enjoying my local Black Diamonds and Kiss of Death groups. I'm going to my first RWA national conference next month. It's time.

I've also renewed my love for photography and am learning video production and videography. This is something I could make a career out of. I've worked with the folks at First Responder's Network for a few years now, and it's a great bunch of EMS people trying to change the world for the better. I'm working on my own webseries, "Disaster Sam", which focuses on the lives and work of EMS people  in disaster settings. The show will also highlight the "people" of EMS and thier personal stories.

So, how far have I gotten on my novel? I thought I was in final editing on the first book, but a recent weekend writing retreat with my BDRWA girls and author Nina Bruhns opened my eyes to a few things. For one, my story isn't romance, it's contemporary with romantic elements, or maybe women's lit. So, I can leave it like it is and market it that way, or I can pull the romance out of the story see if that works.

Also, Nina was very excited to tell us about her new project as Editorial Director of the new "Dead Sexy" Imprint with Entangled Publishing.  She gave us the submission guidelines and a lot of encouragement. I might just think about breaking away and trying something brand new! BTW, if you want to blog about this new line, you can get a free book here: Entangled in Romance.

Well, I promised to get something up here with the promise of more regular content. I'll keep you up on the journey.

Reflections on the Passing of a Paramedic ...

EMS people, especially in our early careers, tend to feel invulnerable. I'm the rescuer ... bad things won't happen to me because it's my job to be here for everyone else. My first experience with that was in the mid 80s when I was working as a paramedic for a "home town" ambulance company and responded to a motorcycle accident. It wasn't the first ... and certainly wouldn't be the last. I'd had a few years in by then and things were becoming a little routine. It turned out the "victim" in this case was a fellow paramedic and was in traumatic cardiac arrest after hitting a stopped vehicle then getting catapulted accross a major highway. The trauma center staff (the ones who were able to function in the face of familiarity) did thier best, inclusive of cracking his chest, but Frank was gone. My husband (at the time) was a cat scan tech in the same hospital and there to comfort me, but all I felt was numb. I was numb through the next week; the retelling of the story, the viewing, then the funeral. Our ambulance led the procession. One of the responding LA County firefighters was with us.

There was no CISM program back then. We were on our own. We thought the funeral would put closure on the event. Two years later I learned what PSTD was. The other thing I learned from that experience was that it was the newer employees, the ones that didn't even know Frank, were affected the most. That's when I understood how we tend to weave this "web of invulnerability" around us. Then, when we lose one of our own, it's like a sharp smack to the head and a recognition of our own mortality.

This week, some 20 years later, I went to a memorial for another paramedic killed in a motorcycle accident. His name was Rob Brooks. He was 38. he had worked through some very rough times in his life to become a sucessful 11 year medic and father. His last post on his Facebook page was to thank people for birthday wishes. He worked in west Contra Costa County, a tough place to work, but where lifelong friendships were formed. "West County people" are a rare breed and won't work in any of the "milder" parts of the county.

II always have a reluctance to go to "one more" of these memorials because I've had to acknowledge the deaths of too many firefighters, cops and EMS people over the years. Most of them were taken before thier time, like Rob. Only a few years ago Contra Costa County lost two firefighters when a roof collapsed. The memory is still fresh. Each of the people whose memorials I attended took a part of me with them.

There had to be at least 500 people in this very large church. Every seat was taken and people were standing in the doorways. The fire department and police presence was mindboggling. It was a sea of class "A" uniforms. I wouldn't have expected this kind of turnout for a private paramedic. It says something about our county and the people that work in it. AMR was well represented and the General Manager, Leslie Mueller, was there in her to acknowledge Rob. The Alameda County AMR Honor Guard showed support from our neighboring county. There were employees and former employees I hadn't seen for years. One, a former partner for Rob, came all the way from North Carolina. When the procession left, they were led across the bridge by the red Reach Air Medical helicopter.

The thing that struck me about this was that this is the way it should be. There is so much talk about public/private conflict. This comes from the top end; from the political spectrum and the need to position for turf. When it comes to the real work in the streets though, it's all about the relationships you form as a person and a medical professional. I got my first job as an EMT during the time when there were few women and we were only marginally accepted. I had to work harder to prove myself as a competent medic ... and a woman. After that I would spend half my day at LA County Fire station 20. The guys taught me much of what I needed to know to be successful in paramedic school. The first memorial I remember was when one of them died in his sleep one night. He was in his 30s.

At Rob's memorial the amazing outpouring of support and love from the fire and police as well as the EMS community showed that we can work as team ... as a family. This is critically important when there are those who would target us as victims of violence or terrorism. The enemy should be those that wish to harm us, not each other! This memorial showed that true solidarity can exist. This is the basis for the concept of EMS 2.0: When it hits the fan, we're all at the same party."Boots on the ground" people get that. Thank you, Contra Costa County, for being that example. Thank you, Rob, for being who you were and such an inspiration.

Podcast Interview and Book Signing

I recently did an interview with Greg Friese for Everyday EMS Tips. This was to the book, "To the Rescue". The audio interview can be found at http://everydayemstips.com and the audio file is at http://eps411.com/downloads/SamBradleyInterview.mp3.

I also have a book signing scheduled at the Barnes and Noble in Brentwood for January 9th. More to follow on that!

Sam

Sam on EMS Educast 10-14-09

Featured on EMS Educast last night ... me!

Subject: Why Do EMS Educators Need Good Writing Skills!

http://www.emseducast.com/

Check out this group and their multitude of great EMS sites!!!

Sam

First Podcast - Bruno Saves the World ...

Direct Link to First Podcast - Bruno Saves the World

Okay, this will be a short one because I just wanted to *finally* get this podcast uploaded. Wolfgang has been patiently awaiting his debut and I know better than to disappoint a crazy German. I have to tell you, though, this first one was a bitch! I have nothing but admiration for those podcasters that manage to post polished, seamless, high tech productions!

I won't bore you with all the techy complications (of which there were many), but I ended up with a number of different pieces to this file including my intro, the music, Wolfgang's story, my outro, then a promo for the Level Zero Movie with theme song. Lesson number one: use the same mic for all the recorded parts. I used the H2 Zoom for the intro and story, then the Snowball for the outro. Even after using Levelator, the difference in sound quality is obvious. Guess I won't do that again.

At least I now know much of what to do differently for the next one. When we get to Chapter 2 of the Bruno story, I have to get Wolfgang to sit still. I didn't realize how sensitive the H2 Zoom mic was, and you can hear the chair squeak and some rustling of papers. I think it was Matthew Selznick that told me to plan on the fact my first 5 podcasts would suck. He was sure right about the first one, but I hope to improve long before Chapter 5!

Nonetheless, I feel good about the fact that I created it, and managed to upload it. Now, I just hope someone will listen to it ... other than Wolfgang. Where do I go from here? I have a recording of some first person firefighter stories I need to edit, and will maybe put up for the next podcast. I really hope a lot more EMS folks will contact me with stories to share. Then, there's the next chapter of "Bruno", and I hope to start soon on the novel. That's the project that will be really difficult. I know I can make it simple and just read the dang thing, but I want to add some production value ... somewhere between straight reading and a full cast and original score. I also know once I commit myself to it, I'll have to continue to deliver. But, more on that later.

Well, that's it for now. It's late but I promised myself to get this out today ... and I did.

Remember, life shouldn't be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but to slide in sideways, chocolate in one hand, a magarita in the other, thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming, "Whoo Hoo, what a ride!"

My Life Part II

Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs: Water → food → security → coffee → writing → self esteem. Well, maybe not exactly the way I learned it in school, but it’s close to how it’s being played out in my life.

So, after the move to the Bay Area, my EMS career continued to evolve from Clinical Coordinator, to Regional Trainer, to Field Supervisor. In 2006, I finally left the ambulance business to work for the State of California as a Health Program Specialist doing disaster planning. Gas prices (and a 1.5 hour drive each way from the Bay Area to Sacramento) eventually drove me back to Contra Costa County. Professional independence came as I began working for myself as a consultant. Scary, yes, but the State Community College System where I teach part-time covered the insurance, so that helped. I continued to work with the local fire department and was offered a few other contracts for teaching, quality improvement, and writing. I’m good for a while.

So, I’m back to having this completed manuscript and needed to decide what to do with it. Reading the Contra Costa Times one day, I saw a blurb about the East County Writer’s Group. I decided my seeing this article must be some form of divine intervention, and I hooked up with a great lady named Mel. I figured a writing group was a less painful way of getting my story heard by others, and that honest feedback could help me decide if I should try really to try to publish the book. I found the Brentwood group to be an interesting and diverse bunch, most of them already published authors. Their works-in-progress included personal memoirs about growing up; a modern day saga about a divorcing couple; a thriller about spies in the Middle East; and an interesting vampire story. My fiction was very different than theirs, but I found a level of comfort in sharing my pages with them. They liked learning about a profession they knew little about and were very respectful with their constructive criticism. Better yet, they repeatedly told me they felt the novel really was ready for prime time. Win!

After about 6 months into this, I decided to check out the other part of the group that met on alternate weeks, in Pittsburg. This was another diverse group led by a bubbly, funny, outgoing woman named Carol who writes a senior column for the Sunday Contra Costa Times. Then, I met Wolfgang. The only male in the group, he’s a little shy, loves chocolate chip cookies, has a wonderful dry sense of humor, and everyone loves his eclectic works. An artist by trade, he also publishes a weekly humor column in the CoCo Times, often sharing a page with Carol. He’s published two books: “Touched by Choi”, a thriller with a dark twist; and “A Parallel Universe”, an offbeat collection of cartoons. Offbeat is another great word for his writing. We often wonder what’s he’s smoking when he thinks up with his stuff. We’ve heard parts of the novel he’s working on about the unluckiest bad guy on the planet, a collection of “Twilight Zone” type flash fiction; a story about a street performer named “Clint Mint”; and my personal favorite, a “Mr. Magoo-esque” tale of Bruno, a guy who raises invisible chickens and misconstrues the concept of “date”, which leads him on a wild adventure.

When I shared my enthusiasm about learning podcasting and told the group about the marketing value of social media, Wolfgang was the first one to show interest. In fact, he’s ready to go out and buy his own H2 Zoom and start learning to podcast. I recorded him last week doing the first chapter of his ‘Bruno’ story. If I can successfully edit the thing, it will be posted next week. Then, I’m sure Wolfgang and Bruno will be well on their way to stardom. Wolfgang’s website is http://www.wolfski.org. He’s also on Facebook and Twitter under writewolfgang.

On a personal note, I’ve found that “putting yourself out there”, “building your brand”, and letting people know about your work does produce a response. I connected with some of the writer/podcasters I’ve been following on Spacebook and Twitter. They’ve been gracious and welcoming despite the fact I don’t have a viable product yet. It seems they remember what it’s like when they were getting started in podcasting and were trying to build an audience.

So, as I write this while listening to fireworks and the barking of three insane dogs, I’ll wait until it’s quieter to work on editing Wolfgang’s story then put it into the feed. Please listen … you’re in for a treat!

My Life Part I …

No, I won’t bore you with stories of first dates, the epiphanies of puberty, or my political views, but what led me to writing, and eventually to podcasting. So, we’ll just slide through my childhood and young adulthood, then land in 1979 when I became certified as an Emergency Medical Technician. Shortly, thereafter, I landed a job with the local ambulance company. They say Emergency Medical Services work is ‘long hours of unrelenting boredom punctuated by moments of sheer terror’. So true, but it’s those moments of dealing with chaos and occasionally finding creative solutions for someone’s dilemma that make you want more. Being there during someone’s worst nightmare and providing relief and comfort for them makes one feel that they’re gaining positive points toward their Karma. After graduating paramedic school, I started doing 911 response work, and spent five of those years working out of a fire station as a contract medic. The field paramedic role then evolved into Field Training officer, Preceptor, then, 16 years later, Company Training Officer. I also held parallel positions as an ER Technician in a trauma center, EMT/paramedic instructor, and disaster medical team member. I couldn’t get enough of emergency medicine.

I’ve always loved writing, but never seriously considered it as a career. I was too busy saving the world. I did manage to write and publish several nonfiction pieces including feature magazine articles. In 1985, I took a road trip with my new husband across the country. While sitting in the car with not much else to do for hours at a time (no iPods, DVD players or vehicle mounted TVs in those days), I started documenting some of my more interesting experiences from the job. Those reminiscences eventually morphed into a fiction piece. My professional life was played out through characters very similar to ones I had actually worked with, and many of the situations they encountered were ones I had personally experienced. The writing of the story became very erratic, though, and sometimes months would go by between sessions. It’s interesting when you do it that way, as when I re-read what I had written months before, I had to ask myself, how in the hell did you think that was good? So, the next draft would become an improvement … then the next one … and so on, until 1996.

That was the year my company was acquired by American Medical Response, which would be destined to become the country’s largest ambulance provider. Immediately, they wanted me to relocate to the San Francisco Bay area. So, busy with a new chapter of my life before me, the book, again, sat idle. Then, in 2006, a strange thing happened. I was driving from the Bay Area to Sacramento for a meeting, and my main characters, 3 firefighter-paramedics, popped into my head and assumed control of my thoughts. They showed me a scene in the book that I hadn’t written or even considered. “Where the hell have you guys been?” I asked.

“What are you talking about,” they replied. We’ve been patiently waiting for you to come back to us. After 10 years, we decided to take matters into our own hands. We intend to hound you until you finish our story.” They weren’t kidding. Virtually every moment that my brain wasn’t fully engaged in some other task, they were there, showing me where they wanted to go. The original manuscript, which was a number of disparate scenes that had yet to be strung together, and was still handwritten. So my first task was to transfer the words to my computer. Re-energized by the new material they had given me, I began writing again. When I finally reached the end, 4 years later, a few surprises materialized. The main protagonist’s strange idiosyncrasies were suddenly explained by an event in his past that even I didn’t know about. An even bigger surprise was that the point of the story became different than what I thought it had been all those years. I was pleased with the final product.

Okay, now what? It’s done (if editing is ever done. Sometimes I think it’s a convenient excuse for never really finishing the book). Was this effort just an exercise for me to document experiences, a tool for catharsis, or did I really believe it was publishable and that other people might actually like it. A lot of blood, sweat and tears went into this project and it would seem sad to let it languish, forever unshared, on my computer. An author may not have a real concept of whether a story they love would appeal to others. Family and friends will tell you it’s awesome because they don’t want to hurt your feelings. How do you really know if it’s any good? … continued …